Take a magnet and place it in the center. Then put some pins around it. You will see how the pins are attracted towards the magnet automatically. Magnet is fixed, it is not t going anywhere but still attracting. Now, what you need to do is to place hollow wooden circle between the magnet and the pins. Pins will not be attracted anymore.
The Personality Issue being highlighted is of immense significance. We are created in such a way that we attract things and people towards us. But there is one thing which can switch off our “Attracting Power”. And we will no more be able to attract anything.
• We are like “Magnet”.
• People and things are like “Pins”.
• Hollow wooden circle is our “Desperation”.
What Is Desperation?
Desperation is basically mental and emotional exhaustion; an intense state of despondency and need of validation or attention from others which makes a person clingy and needy. Despite losing all the hopes and motivation, still holding onto something to achieve it anyhow is desperation. This is something which is not good at all for a well being as it may lead to depression and other mental disorders. Common traits of a desperate person:
• Low Self-Esteem/Self-worth/Self-confidence
• Struggling with Boundaries
• Being available 24/7
• Emotional Blackmailing
• Needs Sympathy
• Mr. / Ms. Texting Machine
• Extremely clingy
• Go above and beyond the world to achieve something impossible or get validation from other people.
• Their Happiness depends upon others.
So, whenever a desperate person wants a job, friendship or relationship. Due to his extreme clinginess and constant need of attention makes other people “Repel” that person. Because a well being never wants to be around a desperate person. (Narcissist and toxic people are exception as they feed on their energy). And making it worse, red flags don’t work with desperate persons, it means if they are being repelled. They will constantly try to approach you again. For example, If they befriend someone they will constantly text them or call them and if the other person isn’t willing to give them proper attention, then they Create something to grab your attention and sympathies. Similarly, if they want a job and don’t get hired there are solid chances of sympathy and emotional card to be used and it doesn’t work all the time. Same goes for relationships; a desperate person thinks that he owns his partner resulting in not considering the other person’s boundaries. In the end of theday desperate person is neglected, repelled and ignored. Now there are some techniques which can help a desperate person, “People treat you exactly what they feel about you” or “people treat you exactly how you treat yourself”.
How to let go Desperation:
Desperation go Off with Detachment. When a person contemplate himself, worthy of all the attention and love, he is persistently giving to others. When an individual stops being constantly available to others because he knows that he comes first. When a person realizes validation from others isn’t necessary, it’s his validation that matters. When a person stops being clingy to people out there and give that energy to his self care (physical, mental and spiritual). When he believes that his very existence is enough to attract beautiful things and people towards him. When he doesn’t need people to tell him “You are beautiful” or “You are doing great”. When he doesn’t juxtapose himself to others because he knows everyone is unique in their own way. When he doesn’t compromise on dignity to stay close to people who are draining him.
As desperation is a result of utmost hopelessness it is obligatory to treat it as it may accelerate to depression later. Developing a new habit, being innovative, discovering new horizons of your personality and doors to other opportunities that may bear you away from that desperate state has uttermost significance. In spite of one can relinquish desperation by himself, at times it becomes quite exigent, whenever one finds himself in prison of desperation one must go for professional help as cognitive behavioral therapy.